yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
