she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize