why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
this is an emotional support booty call
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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