Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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