what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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