he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
