If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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