An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
