He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
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You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
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She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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