dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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