You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
