can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
