And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
