Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
