The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So vagazzling was a success
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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