And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
