There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize