I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
