Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The police scanner is talking about you again....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
