I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
