my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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