Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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