you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
