I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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