He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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