Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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