so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
