Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
