I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
