In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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