You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
