WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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