just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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