i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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