Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
