Cold hands, warm shart.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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