i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
