So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
