I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So vagazzling was a success
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize