hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
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im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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