Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
