my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
