I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So here I am, sexting at work.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
