This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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