It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
