I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
wanna go halves on a baby?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
