The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
