Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize