i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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