Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
