if i can run in heels then i can drive
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
