people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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