My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
