So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize