have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
