Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
