Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
