If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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