I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
