I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
