Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You can't just leave with hair like that
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
