at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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