I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize